A Post For Emily

OK Emily… so you want to see more blogs (see previous blog comments)…there is a reason that I’ve not posted more and not two minutes ago was that reason fully crystalized.

I was settling in for the evening, doing a little reading (translation: watching sixth grader Greyson Chance simultaneously render Lady Gaga and Justin Bieber completely irrelevant on YouTube) when I was distracted by the sound of genuine laughter(the rarest form of laughter…the kind that is completely involuntary, immodest and authentic. I’m pretty sure that fully 90% of laughter is of the courtesy variety…nothing more than an act of social generosity. Think about it…you may laugh at a lot of things that you think are funny or appreciate for their wit or humor but was it an uncontrollable or involuntary response or did you allow yourself to laugh? Though I can’t be sure, I think my “real” laugh might be obnoxious…it’s hard to say…)…anyway it was Kim that was laughing…..

“What are you reading?” I asked (because she’s a better person than I am and that actually is her default activity).

“Your blog,” she says. “Seriously?” I blurted, clearly beside myself. “Yes,” she squeaked in a tone that simultaneously said ‘I’m embarrassed/surprised that I just laughed at that and why are you yelling at me?’

“I wrote that in February.”…..and there it was….my own wife doesn’t read the blog…at least for a couple of months….well I can’t give her too much grief, I’m pretty sure Mom hasn’t read it either….

But, because I am relentless and unyielding in my commitment to do a thing (case in point: courting Kim…she married me in spite of her 20/20 vision and other very useful senses including intuition), here begins a new blog…I guess we can at least test the old tree falling in the woods conundrum.

There are a lot of things to talk about. First and foremost, Missy is kicking off the Summer Flossing Frenzy contest where you guys get to take pictures of yourselves flossing in cool or outrageous places this summer. Coolest place and best group shots win. We are going to try to get a gallery up so that you can click by and check yourselves out. I’ve already heard a lot of great ideas that I hope come to fruition.

…OK again. No joke, as I’m writing this, from over my right shoulder comes huge “I just lost control of my bodily functions” style laughter. Do you remember before, say two-four paragraphs ago where I was outlining why I was kindasorta mad/disappointed that Kim waited three months before she read my blog? Well I wasn’t completely honest. There were other emotions that I felt. The smallest of them probably wasn’t pride that she thought something I wrote was funny(it was the New Jersey thing in case you were wondering and I actually courtesy laughed myself when she read it back to me). So just now when she laughed again, my first thought was ‘Hey she’s gone back and read my other posts and can’t believe what she’s been missing’. So with only a tinge of hubris in my voice I asked her, “Whatcha readin’?”
“Oh I was just watching these kittens slide down a slide.”

…….speechless. Biting social commentary, sharp pop culture references, dental humor…nothing….ok, a little chuckle…But cats on a playground and she wets her pants. I can’t compete with cats on a playground. Seems to me I don’t give Brendan Fraser enough credit…when I get done with this I guess I’ll Fandango some Furry Vengeance tickets.

Alright…in “I still can’t believe this is happening” news, Kim’s mom, Carol began her four month trek to thru-hike the Appalachian Trail. It seems like an amazing adventure for anyone, at any age (she’s 65), but I don’t know….not me…I just got too much of an affinity for at least semi regular bathing and mattresses. We are very proud of her though and have actually gotten to talk to her on the phone a couple of times since she started (May 1st). We are going to try to surprise her at a couple of stops along the way. I think it is safe to tell you guys this because she never reads the blog either…even when she could. She only uses the internet for its logical and intended purpose: playing an aggressive and ruthless style of online Scrabble and occasionally Bridge.

Brady has now jumped up on me and is making it very difficult to type, so I’ll try to wrap up with some closing thoughts.

Jason Heyward is a beast. I am so excited for the future of the Braves regardless of how this season winds up (but hope springs eternal).

Make sure when you guys ask Kelli about her chickens and how much she loves being a small poultry farmer.

….and don’t forget to take your floss photos. We can’t wait to post them.

See you guys chairside.

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